Quest for Death's Veil
by kumquat42
Summary: I'm not gonna tell you what this story's about (because it's awesome and that'll ruin the surprise), instead, here's a sample of the insanity to come: Hazel blew up Gringotts! The owls have the Annabeth! Jason just sneezed lightning! It's bird, it's a plane, no, it's Thalia! Voldemort will steal your buttocks! If that doesn't hook you, I don't know what to say... I have cookies!
1. Rica Mortis

**Nothing belongs to me and all that jazz.**

**This is set a year after Blood of Olympus and at the beginning of The Order of the Phoenix; Leo, Calypso, and Festus have returned for the sake of... my feels...**

**Enjoy!**

_Percy's POV_

"I know that you are all still... rattled after these fearsome attacks, but this is an urgent matter that concerns all of us." Chiron's voice rang out over the clearing. The assembled demigods shifted uncomfortably, and nervous whispers among them. "Many of you have been injured in the fight. Even though no lives are to be lost, I call for a quest to end this war before it begins." He gestured for Rachel to step up. She obliged. Her knees buckled, and her head snapped back. Green smoke poured out of her mouth. A raspy voice issued a new prophecy:

"Boy who lived beware the snake

"For precious breath he longs to take

"To death eaters' home, great heroes travel

"To Hecate's own, and join the battle

"'Tween light and dark, again are thrust

"'Tween two kinds, forge bond of trust

"All children of the mighty three

"Find the convict who now walks free

"And volunteers to join the fight

"Rica Mortis awaits the fated night

"To it, has himself resigned

"Upon it, is our fate assigned"

Percy groaned; he hadn't understood much of the prophecy, but 'children of the mighty three' definitely included him. He'd have to ask Annabeth about everything else.

The crowd started breaking away, group by group. Percy grabbed Jason and dragged him after Nico, his amazing girlfriend following close behind.

Shockingly (note the sarcasm), Nico was headed back to the infirmary. Since the Giant war, he had formed a bizarre friendship with Will, head counselor of the Apollo Cabin. Now he spent most of his time helping treat the growing numbers of wounded.

"Hey, Nico! Wait up!"

The son of Hades paused long enough for Percy to catch up. "What is it, Percy?"

"Quest. Children of the mighty three probably includes you."

"It is also includes Hazel and Thalia, who aren't set to arrive for a few more hours. We can talk then." Nico said curtly, he ducked inside the infirmary and shut the door before Percy could ask him any more questions.

"He has a point."

"Do you know where we should start." Percy asked his girlfriend, pointedly ignoring Jason.

"Lou Ellen, she might know something about Hecate's kin and rica mortis."

"The veil of death."

"What?" Percy asked, finding that he could no longer ignore Jason.

"That's what rica mortis means. Have you already forgotten Latin?"

"Are you two fighting again?"

"No!" They both said at once.

"What's it about this time." She sighed, turning toward the Hecate Cabin.

"He stole my towel!" Percy said accusingly.

"Borrowed!"

"While I was in the shower!"

"You don't even need a towel! You can use your powers to get dry!"

"But towels are so soft and nice!"

"I only needed a towel in the first place because someone 'accidentally' flooded Cabin One."

"It was just a little water!"

"I open the door and get completely soaked! If that's a little water, then Atlantis is slightly damp."

"Are you guys still fighting about the cream pie incident?" An amused voice asked from behind them.

"Thalia!" They both shouted, their argument already forgotten.

"Baby brother! Fish breath! Brainiac! I've missed you guys!" She hugged them each fiercely.

"You too, pinecone face!"

Thalia scowled at the nickname, "so what's this I hear about a quest?"

Annabeth recited the prophecy.

"That does not sound like the carefree fun I came for. Are headed to Hecate Cabin right now?"

They nodded.

"I'll join you. The Romans were right behind us, but I think they stopped for drive-thru. They should be here in the next hour."

"Doesn't 'veil of death' sound like something we need Nico for?" Percy asked, still breathless from Thalia's crushing hug.

"I'll get him. Meet you guys there?" The daughter of Zeus volunteered. She turned around and jogged back to the infirmary.

Five minutes later, they were waiting in front of the Hecate Cabin when Thalia and Nico arrived, both of them were extremely red in the face and looking stunned.

"What's wrong? Mr D isn't wearing a speedo again?" Percy shuddered, once again wishing that mind bleach existed outside of cartoons.

"No, it's–" Thalia started explaining, then froze at a pleading look from Nico, "it's nothing. Nothing at all. Shall we go in?" She led the way before they could ask any questions. Percy eyed them suspiciously, he resolved find out what had happened later.

"Oh, it's you. I knew you'd come sooner or later. Shall I go get Lou Ellen?" Asked the dreamy voice of a camper who'd been claimed by Hecate just last week. She long, pale blond hair, vacant eyes, and an accent that was probably British. Percy was about to answer, but she had already wandered into the back room.

_Nico's POV_

Lou Ellen walked in almost immediately after the blond girl left. "If this is about Hecate's kin, I'm afraid I have no idea." She said sharply. There was something off–no downright creepy–about that girl, and coming from the Ghost King himself, that means a lot.

"What about rica mortis?"

"I can answer some of that," a still blushing Nico said, raising his hand slightly, "it's an old story, a kind of cautionary tale, dates back to the Norman Invasion."

The dreamy-eyed Hecate camper added, "battle of Hastings, ten sixty-six, the Romans recapture a rogue group of Hecate's followers and legends who had tried to break away from the empire to follow the path of magic for magic's sake instead of conquest's."

Lou Ellen clenched her jaw, "please ignore her, she can be a bit... odd at times."

Nico cleared his throat, their attention returned to him. "Anyway, I heard the story from a spirit in Elysium. She was a strange one, her and her husband... sorry, distracting myself:

"Once, in the time of myth, when magic was a mere babe in the crib–"

"That's a weird way of starting a story. What happened to once upon a time?" Percy commented.

"That's a question I ask myself every Sunday." Thalia muttered darkly. When the rest of the demigods gave her confused looks, she merely said, "it's a tv thing. Please, continue."

Nico sighed, he could already tell this was going to take a long time. "Once, in the time of myth, when magic was a mere babe in the crib–"

"You said that already."

"Would you stop interrupting?"

"Once, in the time of myth, when magic was a mere babe in the crib, there was a beautiful woman of great ambition and greater cunning–"

"Like Annabeth."

"For gods sakes, Percy, are you physically incapable of shutting up for more than a minute? Now, as I was saying–"

"Are you going to start from the beginning again? 'Cause we've heard it twice."

"Thanks to you! There was a beautiful woman of great ambition and greater cunning. Today, we know her by the name of Morgan LeFey. All in the land sought her hand in marriage–"

"Does 'all' include women and kids and babies and old people?"

Nico ignored him. "But she wished to marry none of them. Annoyed at her stubborn refusals, her father arranged for her to marry a mighty prince, hero of the land. She pleaded and begged for him to cancel the wedding, but he was deaf to her entreaties. Heartbroken, she climbed to the top of the tallest tower and threw herself from it. She refused to live in a world so unfair. But she was saved by death–"

"Death saved her? That doesn't make any sense!"

"It's a story, Percy, not a history textbook! It doesn't have to make sense!"

"But–"

"But she was saved by death; he had been sent to collect her soul but had fallen in love with her the moment he laid eyes on her. He bore her back to the tower where she told him her woes and begged for help. Unable to refuse her, he endowed bestowed upon her a wand wrought from the branches of a hanging yew–"

"Me! Why am I in the story? Or is it you...? Why were you hanging out with branches? This story makes no sense!"

"Yew, Percy, the tree!"

"I'm a tree?"

"Y. E. W. It's a kind of tree." Nico was having difficulty resisting the urge to strangle Percy. He ground his teeth and continued the story. "A wand wrought from the branches of a hanging yew–"

"I still don't understand why the tree was hanging."

"No! A hanging tree is where they hang people. With nooses. Ropes around their necks. It's a form of execution. Any more questions?" Nico waited about two milliseconds, "good! The wand gave the woman unrivaled power. Magic that would give her control over her own future. She thanked him and said, that in return for the wand, she would become his bride, to be wed that very evening. Ecstatic, he gave her a white veil, the rica mortis, and departed. She went to her father and told him he would control her future no longer. Her enraged father ordered her to drop the farce—"

"Farts?"

"Farce, Percy, an act!"

"He ordered her to drop the act or face execution—"

"Woah! He was gonna kill his own daughter? Not cool, man!"

"Annabeth, get the duct tape!"

"Gladly!"

"No wait! I'll be quiet!"

"Good!" Annabeth and Nico shouted at once.

"Or face execution. In response, she drew the yew wand and killed everyone in her father's court in one fell swoop."

Percy looked like he desperately wanted to interrupt, but Nico's and Annabeth's death glares silenced him.

"She spared none, not even her family. The only survivor was her brother; Hecate whisked him away moments before he was destroyed, for he was her favored one among the mortals." At their confused expressions, he explained, "like Jason is Hera's favored one, Merlin, Morgan's brother, was favored by Hecate even though he was a mortal."

"I'm not a mortal!"

Nico raised his hands defensively, "just an example! Anyway, he was her favored one among the mortals. Hecate knew that the yew wand would throw the powers of light and dark, so she gave Merlin a wand of sacred holly endowed with light powers equal to those of the dark yew wand and taught him in the ways of magic, so he could fight against the darkness and teach others the way of light magic. Morgan too gained followers, and she taught them the darkest of arts. Her most powerful disciple was her own son, Mordred. After years of fighting, Merlin and his followers trapped her spirit in an elder tree, but her students carried on the dark arts to this very day. As did Merlin's students for light magic. Death was heartbroken at her defeat. He took up her wedding veil and cursed it; he swore that one day the rica mortis would steal the soul of one of Merlin's descendants, a hero who was a great player in the fight against dark, and trap the soul in the underworld, as Merlin had trapped his beloved in the elder tree. The veil became another passageway to the underworld, it led directly into my father's halls, but only a descendent of Mordred could pass through without his soul being rent from his body.

"Then she said some stuff I didn't understand about ancient bloodlines and purebloods and um..." he switched to a British falsetto, "all great heroes and villains are descended of the first two, Merlin and Morgan, even my little boy." He changed back to his normal voice, "and how, some day the first two wands would be reborn and a great battle between the forces of light and dark would be fought by new players with the same, ancient blood."

Everyone sat in stunned silence, except Annabeth, who looked positively furious.

"I can't believe I've never heard this!" She fumed.

The blond daughter of Hecate appeared in the doorway, "I suppose you'll be going to London, then? We can go together... it'll almost be like having friends..." Her eyes turned misty.

Nico felt a pit in his stomach, he'd been like that before... friendless... alone... He mentally slapped himself, _focus! The prophecy! The quest! Still kind of important!_

"Why would we need to go to London?" Annabeth inquired as Nico opened his mouth to ask the same question.

"To see Harry, of course."

**I pretend that I know where I'm going with this, but I really don't. If have any ideas where I should take this, please, don't keep them to yourself! I would love to hear them and might even use them! Seriously, reviews make me so happy that I grin like an idiotic Cheshire Cat for at least ten minutes when I read one!**

**Also, don't hate me for tweaking the Merlin/Morgan/Mordred story to serve my the purposes of my story!**

**—XOXO your friendly neighborhood kumquat**


	2. Wolves and Elephants

**I don't own anything, yadah yadah yadah... enjoy!**

_Remus's POV_

_Dumbledore is absolutely mad_, he thought as he waited at top of an annoyingly tall hill. _If Xenophilius's daughter is anything like the man himself, half of London will know about Grimmauld Place within the week_.

There was a loud pop as far more than one teenager appeared in the air and started falling.

He sighed and rubbed his temples, "my name is Remus Lupin. Which if you is Luna Lovegood, and who the devil are the rest of you?"

A boy about Harry's age, with jet black hair and soulless eyes was the first to respond, "Nico di Angelo, we're friends of Luna's. We go to the same magical summer camp as her in America."

He offered his hand. Remus shook and tried not to shudder: it was cold as ice, like a corpse's.

"What are you doing here?" He asked suspiciously, he had never heard of summer camp that teaches magic in America.

"Death eaters attacked camp about a week ago. Our director sent those of us who spend the whole year at camp here, he hoped we could attend Hogwarts. so we'd be under your headmaster's protection. Dumbledore, if I'm not mistaken?"

He nodded in confirmation, still suspicious. "What's that name of your... summer camp?"

This time, it was a girl with uneven brown hair, she was wearing a heavy winter coat even though it was only September. "Chiron's Base for Advanced Magic, kabam for short. You must've heard of us."

Suddenly the name did seem familiar, "yeah... I must've... what do you there?"

"Each camper specializes in a certain type of wandless magic, mostly hands-on combat and practical stuff, so we're a bit behind on the theoretical side, spells and stuff." Now a blonde with stormy eyes was talking.

"...specialized wandless magic...?" He really hated playing the part of a clueless student, but these kids acted so differently from anyone he'd ever met. More like battle-worn soldiers than the teenagers he was used to.

"Yeah, like Frank is a panimagus. You know, he can turn into any animal."

The blonde stared pointedly at the muscular, Asian kid who smiled and turned into a chihuahua then an iguana then a donkey before turning back into a human. The rest of them acted like this was totally normal, except a black haired boy a few years older than Harry who was a sickly shade of green.

He blinked several times and fought the urge to pinch himself, even in a world of magic, he'd never seen anything like that, not even with three animagus friends. "Come on, I'll take you to see professor Dumbledore, I've a feeling he'd like to meet you."

"Percy, get up, we're leaving now!" The blonde girl poked 'Percy', the boy lying on the ground, with her foot.

"Hey, brainiac, can I–" a girl with spiky black hair started to ask.

"No, for some reason, I don't think a thousand volts to chest will help him feel better."

Percy groaned, "If I knew portkeys would be like that, I'd've risked a plane."

Remus realized he was eavesdropping, but their conversation was just to interesting not to hear.

"We could've taken the Argo III! It only had a fifty-seven percent chance of blowing up on take-off!" A short boy with curly hair and a mischievous grin that made Remus's inner teacher want to pull out the detention pad.

"That's a risk I don't feel like talking, again. Besides, we have Thalia with us this time!"

The blonde pointed at the girl with spiked hair, who started protesting until Percy said, "yeah, you'd have been fine, just like the time you drove the sun and nearly burnt up Jersey!"

The blonde seemed to notice that Remus was listening and kicked Percy in the shin.

"Ow! Not cool, you don't kick a guy when he's down!"

The blonde muttered something that was not in English, and nearly every one of the teens sighed in frustration and shot menacing glares at Percy.

The girl with choppy, brown hair turned to him, "you're going to forget everything you just heard."

He felt his thoughts going out of focus, "I'm... I'm going to..." sensing a spell, he tried to resist, resulting in his brain being thrown into utter chaos.

"You are going to forget everything you just heard. You will never speak of this conversation to anyone. You are going to take us to professor Dumbledore now." She ordered.

He could feel his will power slipping. Her voice filled his head, forcing her will upon him.

He blinked. _Why... what was I doing...?_ he struggled to remember. _Take them to Dumbledore_, said a voice in his head that didn't sound like his own. _You're finally losing it, Remus, they say hearing voices is the first sign_.

"Sir," the choppy haired girl said gently, "you were going to take us to see professor Dumbledore, then you stopped moving, are you feeling alright?"

"Yes, better now," his voice sounded so different from what it normally did, "get in the car, I will take you to see professor Dumbledore." He started to move to the car, his movements felt strangely robotic.

The girl followed. _Is it my imagination, or does she look guilty?_ He shook his head and resolved to see madame Pomfrey as soon as possible. She was probably right, he shouldn't push himself so hard so soon after the full moon. It was not good for his sanity.

_Piper's POV_

Piper sat uncomfortably on the bench at a dirty bar called the Leaky Cauldron while they were scrutinized by Gandalf–_Dumbledore! Dumbledore! It doesn't matter how similar their beards are! Different ancient and mysterious wizards! Get it right!_–he looked them up and down without saying a word. His twinkly, blue eyes made her feel like he was X-raying her soul.

He clapped his hands together, "excellent, now, I believe introductions are in order, how about we start at the lovely lady on the end," he gestured at Thalia, "and work out way to Remus and myself?" He phrased it like a question, but Piper felt like they didn't really have a choice.

"Thalia Grace," she grimaced at her own last name, "storm magic, archery, tracking, hand-to-hand combat."

They had spent hours making their cover stories with the information Luna could provide on the wizarding world and drilling them. Piper felt like she could recite every detail of it backwards... in her sleep.

"Jason Grace," see saw Mr Lupin's eyes widened in surprise, she could understand, Thalia and Jason looked nothing like siblings. They were now close enough in age to be twins because of Thalia's never-aging, "storm magic, strategics, sword fighting, hand-to-hand combat."

"Piper McClean, love magic, hand-to-hand combat, persuasion," Mr Lupin looked confused by this, like he knew he'd forgotten something important but couldn't, for the life of him, remember what it was; Piper still felt a little guilty for having to use such powerful charm-speak on him. Wizards must have extremely thick skulls.

It continued this way for while: with Leo specializing in fire magic and engineering, Hazel in illusionary magic, precious metals, and horses, Frank in panimagus-ry and archery, Percy in sea magic, sailing, and sword fighting (they had decided to leave out 'fish telepathy', much to Luna's chagrin), Annabeth in research, architecture, strategy, and weaving, and Nico in shadow magic and death magic, which Mr Lupin could not have been less enthusiastic about.

"Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, and I have a particular fondness for lemon drops."

Percy and Leo grinned at this.

"Remus Lupin, ex-professor of defense again the dark arts."

Jason shifted. Piper shot him a look that asked 'what's wrong?'.

"He's leaving something important out." Jason whispered in Greek, he sounded almost nervous.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Is that all?" Percy asked before Piper could open her mouth.

_How is Percy suddenly the observant one? Did I miss the Opposite Day notification?_

If looks could kill, everyone in the bar would be dead. "Yes." Mr Lupin's voice was laced with poison, an unspoken threat for Percy not to push his luck.

"Then why do I feel like you're leaving something out?" Her boyfriend, bless his idiotic little heart, asked, joining the glare competition.

Piper could've sworn she heard them snarling. She felt like she had wandered into the middle of a fight between three wolves for the position of alpha male. It had been like this when Percy and Jason first met too. Then it struck her, that's exactly what this was. Three wolves testing each other. Piper caught Annabeth's eye and gave her a significant look; Annabeth nodded slightly. Piper was glad her friend read so much and had such an amazing memory.

Annabeth knocked a glass off the table, careful to make it look like an accident. Fast as lightning, Mr Lupin's hand shot out and snatched it out of the air before it hit the ground. His reflexes were like Thalia's, a little too good to be human.

Annabeth got a confident gleam in her eye. "When were you bit?" She asked carefully.

Piper hoped she didn't get her head bitten off, metaphorically or literally, if Annabeth was thinking the same thing she was.

Mr Lupin took on a guarded expression. "I don't know what you mean." He answered evenly.

To her surprise, Dumbledore chuckled and said, "Remus, I'm afraid she's caught you. Very clever, my girl. Tell me, how did you know?"

Annabeth looked proud. "It's not turtleneck season, remotely. The full moon was two days ago, you're covering up scratches. You walk like your joints and muscles ache, but there's no way you're over forty. You seem like a quiet guy, but your voice is raw like you were screaming all night. And you picked up on Percy's and Jason's wolf-side right away, most people never notice it."

Dumbledore smiled wider, "looks like our Hermione has some competition, took her most of the school year, if I'm not mistaken."

Percy raised his hand like he was in a classroom, "will someone tell me what's going on?" Piper felt relieved, it had been scary having him be the smart one.

"He's a werewolf." Annabeth explained gently.

Frank turned into an elephant in his surprise, causing most of the customers to jump up in surprise and shock. Mr Lupin backed up too quickly and tripped over a stool in surprise. Even Dumbledore seemed a surprised.

Hazel gave an unconvincing, nervous laugh, "don't worry, he does that sometimes. Frank honey, you can turn back into a human now. Everything's fine." she patted elephant-Frank's trunk soothingly.

If elephants could look embarrassed, this one certainly was. He shifted back and forth as if to say, 'sorry! I'll be stuck like this for a while! Please, continue without me!'.

"you were gonna take us somewhere safe until term starts." She prompted Dumbledore, trying to sound casual.

"Right, Remus, will you be so kind as to take them to the Order?"

"A–are we going t–to ignore the... elephant in the room?" He stuttered, not seeming to notice how funny his question was.

"There are a few more members coming soon, enough for you to side-along apparate them all in one go. Perhaps Mr Zhang will be in human form again by then."

Then he popped out of existence, which only enforced Piper's belief that this was all some, weird, sugar-induced dream she couldn't wake up from.

**No clue how it took so long for me to write this! Sorry!**

**Please review! It makes my day! Seriously! The more reviews I get the faster I update, just sayin'...**

**If you have ideas as to what should happen next, don't be selfish! Share them! Contrary to popular belief, I am neither a flawless, genius writer who has a plot and everything, nor a mountain troll who discovered the internet.**

**—XOXO your friendly neighborhood kumquat**


	3. update update

**Hey, guys! Kumquat here with a quick announcement! I'm not going to bore you with the details, but I have a lot of stuff to work in my life outside of fanfiction.**

**_Reader: You have a life outside of fanfiction?_**

**Shocking, right? Well, I do, and currently, it's a mess. I promise as soon as I figure everything out, I'll be back and better than ever! More frequent updates and everything!**

**_Reader: haha! You? Normal updates? When pigs fly!_**

**-_- I didn't say normal (I am anything but), I said more frequent. As in: more frequently than I usually do.**

**Wow, are you still reading this? Kudos to you, here's a gold star!**

**You guys can expect me to start updating again after January! Also, you're all awesome, and I love every single one of you! Thank you so much for putting up with my nonsense and reading my nonsensical randomness!**

**See you next month!**

**—XOXO your friendly neighborhood kumquat**


	4. Hazel and the Goblin Gold

**I don't own anything!**

_George's POV_

He could remember what his dad had said, "don't worry, it'll be an in-and-out job. Just apparate to the leaky cauldron, pick up the transfers and a few things from Diagon Alley, and bring everyone and everything back here. Shouldn't take more than an hour. No trouble at all."

He felt like laughing at how wrong dear ol' dad had been. Sure, they had apparated into the Leaky Cauldron just as planned, but landing on an elephant that started bellowing and running around while being chased by a bunch of teens with swords had definitely NOT been a part of the plan.

Mad-eye was trying to hex their heavily armed pursuers while trying to stay on the rampaging pachyderm.

Tonks's hair had turned traffic-cone orange, and she was screaming at the top of her lungs, which very very very loud; George would probably be deafer than Peeves was to Filch by the time he got off this ride.

Daedalus Diggle was hugging the elephant and sobbing hysterically. They would both probably need to visit the mental wing of Mungo's after this: Diggle for the traumatizing event of unexpectedly riding an elephant, the elephant for the traumatizing event of being unexpectedly ridden and hugged by a crying human.

His one and only twin was clinging onto the elephant's left ear with a look that was somewhere between elated, terrified, and dumbfounded. George figured he looked about the same. If someone had told him that he would ride an elephant inside a pub with Mad-eye Moody while being chased by hot girls with pointy weapons, he would've asked them what drugs they were on.

"Everybody stop!" One of said hot girls shouted.

He had the sudden urge to freeze, even to stop breathing and blinking and to stop his heart from beating, which was weird... she wasn't that hot. A quick look around showed that everyone seemed to be having the same thoughts. Okay, probably not all the same thoughts, except his brother, they were generally on the same page when it came to measuring relative hotness, other stuff too, but mainly that.

"Drop your weapons!" There was a loud clatter as everyone complied, even Moody, which only confirmed that this was a hallucination from one of the products he and Fred were working on.

"Frank, you will return to human form!" Quite suddenly, George was sitting on the head of a seriously big guy, not giant like Hagrid or massive like Harry's muggle cousin, this guy was pure muscle! It made George feel rather inadequate.

"The five of you who just appeared will state your name and business here."

Again, George felt like the girl's voice was hijacking his brain and forcing it to listen to her. He wrote off the feeling as another symptom of being a teenage boy.

"Alastor 'Mad-eye' Moody, I'm here to pick up you brats and some more broomslang skin."

"Tonks, technically Nymphadora Tonks, but if you call me that I will gut you like a fish and tap dance on your intestines," the way she said it made it sound like she was going to bake them cookies after she finished rescuing puppies, it made George shudder, _why does she have to be so specific? She could just say 'call me Tonks' and leave it at that!_ "I'm here for you guys and to make sure Alastor doesn't hex any 'suspicious looking' bins and get himself arrested... again."

"Daedalus Diggle, sirs and madams, I'm here to bring you safely to safety, nothing more." He whimpered and wrung his hands pitifully, he was probably still shaken from the elephant ride.

"I'm Fred–"

"And I'm George–"

"Or he's Fred–"

"And he's George–"

"Or as mum calls us–"

"FredandGeorgewhatthedevildidyoudothistimewhyarethereburnmarksontheceilingyouareinforitthistimeyoungmendontthinkIwontcallyourfatherhomefromworkyoucouldveburntthehousedowndontyoueverthinkbeforeyouactIswearthesefoolishexperimentswillbetheendofyou–"

"You're grounded, for short–"

"We're here 'cause dad sent us–"

"To get you and groceries–"

"And to wreak minor havoc–"

"While Moody isn't watching–"

"Hopefully."

They ended with a flourishing bow

"Is your last name Stoll?" Asked the guy with short blond hair a stern look disturbingly similar to McGonagall's.

"It's Weasley, why do you ask?" Fred answered.

"You look like some boys we know at camp." The hot girl with long blond hair explained.

George put his arm around her. "Now, you say boys you know–"

Fred took her hand on the other side. "But what we want to know–"

"Is whether or not you're free Friday night?"

She pulled her hand away from Fred and shrugged off George's arm. "Thanks, but my boyfriend is already having a hard enough time not decapitating you."

George turned his head to see the tip of a bronze sword level with his nose, on the other end was presumably her highly irritated boyfriend. Looked like a swimsuit model with his tousled black hair, sea green eyes, and undoubtedly toned abs.

George and Fred took a large step back and grinned apologetically.

"Sorry, dude–"

"We just assumed she's single–"

"'Cause you're not wearing something matching–"

"And she doesn't have a bracelet with a cheesy love thing–"

"Like 'you stole my heart'–"

"Or 'forever yours'–"

"Or 'you're so hot, I need sunglasses to look at you'–"

"That's a pick-up line–"

"Okay, forget that last one–"

"But the others are gold–"

"Speaking of gold, anyone wanna go to Gringotts with us?"

"That's your bank, right?" Asked the girl with a hot chocolate complexion, "I'd love to see it."

They both beamed and took her hands in theirs, pulling her forward. "The consider us your guides."

The ex-elephant didn't look very very happy about this. George very much hoped that he was her protective stepbrother; he'd had enough swords pointed at his nose for one day, thank you very much.

After their new friend got over the initial shock of entering Diagon Alley, George asked her, "what do we call you, by the way?"

"It'd be really unfortunate if we lost you and we went around asking people if they'd seen what's-her-face."

"Uh, Hazel."

"Say, Hazel, dad mentioned something about you guy having especially wingless flight—"

"We weren't really listening."

"Uh, specialized wandless magic?"

"There's the ticket!"

"Anyway, what's yours?"

"Uh—"

"Do you always start your sentences with 'uh'?"

"No, it's just—"

"You're just not used to conversing with two handsome gentlemen such as ourselves."

"Well, I have—"

"You have never dreamed of walking hand-in-hand with two dashing young bachelors like us."

"I really—"

"You really enjoy spending time with us even though you've just met us."

"My boyfriend—"

"Your boyfriend is nonexistent, so you'd like one of us to be yours."

"He is—"

"He is real, but he's an inconsiderate jerk, so you're gonna leave him for me—"

"Or me."

"Bugger off, you know I'm her type!"

"I'm your twin!"

Hazel stopped dead in her tracks. "We are standing over enough gold right now to bury New York."

"Blimey!"

"Really? We always knew Gringotts had a lot of gold—"

"But that is simply ridiculous—"

"I thought we made good jokes."

"I'm not joking, I can feel it all..."

"Not you, love, the fact that at least half of it probably belongs to that slimy git Malfoy and his death eater family."

"Gods... I sense seven dragons down there..."

"I knew there were dragons in those vaults!"

Hazel's knees buckled and they both ran to help.

"Here, let me help you up—"

"No, let me help you up—"

"Gods of Olympus! Will you two stop talking for a minute!"

As if in response to her angry shout, the ground started rumbling.

Hazel paled. "Get out of the street, now." She commanded in a grim voice.

George feel like she had told them an atomic bomb would go off if she didn't cut the right wire. He now regretted watching all those muggle, action movies over the summer. A crowd of scenarios flitted through his head, sadly, most of them involved him getting killed by the big bad's lackeys or nobly sacrificing himself to save the world.

Fred and George scrambled out of the street as the rumbling grew louder. Now the whole ground was shaking.

"Arion!" Hazel screamed before she was engulfed by a geyser of... _Merlin's beard..._ A geyser of galleons and sickles and knuts shot from a brand new chasm in the ground. It went as tall as Big Ben, showering Diagon Alley with expensive, painful hail. George realized a full ten seconds too late that he needed to get under a roof. Now.

Fred got knocked out by a full good suit of armor before George remembered how to walk. He dove for cover under a display stand for self-stirring cauldrons. A silver statue of a horse about the size of the Percy's ego (**(Percy Weasley, not Percy Jackson)**) landed where he'd just been sitting.

_Great, my wish for it to rain treasure has finally come true and I nearly get squashed!_ He thought bitterly.

In a flash of brown, the still unconscious Fred appeared next to him, followed by several other wizards and witches in various states of disbelief, wonder, and heart-attack.

The roaring slowly subsided, until the shiny new chasm was only filled gold and not spouting it.

Hazel appeared next to them on a horse. _Hold the hippogriffs! When did she get a horse?_

Fred thought the same thing, only out loud.

Hazel laughed and dismounted. "He comes when I call. Don't eat that!"

"...eat what?"

"Not you, the horse." George pointed at the tawny horse with a black mane who currently nibbling the nose of golden statue of some wizard George would probably know from History of Magic if he could stay awake for more than a few minutes in that class.

"Sorry," Hazel apologized to no one in particular, "he just loves eating gold, and he's hungry from the run across Atlantic."

"Don't worry, love–"

"They won't miss one little statue."

Hazel gave the horse a thumbs up, it neighed in joy and started munching on the statue's afro.

"I'm guessing we have you to thank for this blessed catastrophe?" Fred asked, rubbing to the growing knot on his head.

"Yeah, my magic seems stronger here...wonder why...we should warn the others before something worse than this happens!"

**Yay! I'm back, full force! With chapters and everything!**

**What other horrible things could happen? Tell me your brilliant ideas!**

**—XOXO your friendly neighborhood kumquat**


	5. Owl Abduction

**Seriously, I don't own anything! I don't know how you guys keep making that mistake!**

_Annabeth's POV_

At the moment, they were in a bookshop called Flourish and Blotts. It was filled with interesting books on all sorts of magic. If she could've, Annabeth would have bought every single tome in the store and read them all several times without stopping; pity they were on a budget.

She tore herself away from 'Hogwarts, a History' when she heard a scream from across the shop.

She ran over to find her boyfriend hacking at books that were flying around his head, trying to dive-bomb him. Luna was watching them with mild interest, like she was observing a harpy cut an onion, amusing, but all too common to hold your attention. Mr Lupin was trying to check out with their books and hex the books at the same time, resulting in a sort of juggling act with his money, the books, and his wand.

Percy batted away a book, and she caught it before it gave her a reason to consider a nose-job. The title said 'Monster Book of Monsters: Volume Two: All Things Flying'. The book itself had some kind of bat wings attached to it along with a stinger reminiscent of a manticore or a scorpion and yellow shark eyes. The book snarled and tried to escape her grasp.

Startled, she dropped it, and it flew off to rejoin its brethren in a Wild Percy Hunt.

After a few minutes of hacking and hexing, Percy and Mr Lupin had reduced the monster books to a flurry of paper and shredded spines.

The extremely angry shopkeeper chased them out, firing hexes the whole time.

A few more minor disasters later and they decided to go the Owl Emporium. As soon as they walked in, Annabeth knew something terrible would happen.

Every owl jumped off its perch and started repeatedly bowing to her.

Mr Lupin's eyes went wide and he stood there, more than a little shocked. Luna reacted the way she almost always did, with mild interest and a strange remark about a funny sounding animal that was more likely imaginary than real. Percy started laughing in the infuriating and endearing way that was particular to him.

A few horned owls flew up and started braiding her hair like she was demigod Snow White. Others started fanning her with their wings while still more carried in a comfy chair and a tropical drink for her.

Percy had collapsed on the floor from laughter.

She was about to shout at him when she heard a strange roaring sound, like a waterfall, coming from outside. She turned slightly and saw a geyser of gold shooting from further on down the street. Before she could start wondering where that was coming from, she saw that the roaring was not from the gold geyser, but from the brand new river where the street used to be.

"Percy, are you–" she was interrupted by Mr Lupin's shout of surprise.

His wand was spurting water at the speed of a firehouse. At this rate, the whole shop would be flooded. She was about to order her group to get into street when the owls picked her up and flew through the newly broken window with her.

_Percy's POV_

Percy watched in shock as the army of owls abducted his girlfriend. He should've known something this disastrous would happen when he willingly went shopping for school supplies.

The screech of a cat reminded him that he, Luna, and Lupin were still in a store that was rapidly filling with water. It was only then that he noticed the slight tug in his gut. He was doing this! He tried to order the water to stop, but the tugging sensation only increased.

Now the whole store was filled with water and a few toads, but never mind them. He ordered all of the bubbles in the water to form an air bubble around them so that Luna and Lupin could breath.

He motioned for them follow and swam outside, willing the air bubble to follow. When he broke the surface, he saw wizards, animals, and all manner of magical things being swept down the ex-street.

"Percy!" He heard his favorite son of hades shout from downstream.

"That's my name, don't wear it out!" Percy shouted back.

"Whatever, get in before you get washed away!" Nico motioned for them to climb onto his boat of human bones.

"No thanks?"

One of the hands that were sticking out grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and other skeletal hands pulled him, Luna, and an undoubtedly traumatized Lupin on board. Percy himself was feeling a little traumatized. Sure he was a demigod, he ate strange for breakfast, but a raft of living skeletons was pushing it, even for him.

"How are we floating?"

"Human bones float," Nico said as if this was common knowledge, "where's Annabeth?"

"The owls took her." Luna said cheerily.

Nico blinked several times then restated his question.

"No, the owls really did take her." Percy told him

"We should look for Thalia and the others, I think the tornado threw them somewhere in that direction." Nico muttered, totally ignoring him.

Percy nodded and ordered the bone boat in the direction that Nico was pointing, toward an old shop labeled 'Olivanders' in gold lettering. As they got closer, Percy saw the Thalia-shaped hole in the brick wall.

He gladly jumped off the bone boat and ordered the water to push him through the hole in the wall. As soon as he was inside, there suddenly stopped being any water to hold him up and he fell in an ungraceful heap on the floor.

"Ten out of ten on the landing, fish face. That's some Olympic grade material."

"Like you did any better," he pulled himself into a sitting position, "I thought stuff like that," he pointed at the human-shaped lack of wall, "only happened in cartoons."

"I got mad skills, Jackson, mad skills."

Percy grinned, "where are the people you were with? Uh... Tonks and...that guy."

She shrugged, "I was a bit more concerned for myself at the moment, sorry."

"Well well well, Mr Jackson and Ms Grace, I never imagined I'd be seeing you here."

They both whirled to see an old man peering at them with lantern-like eyes.

**And now for a new section! Where I will be responding to your reviews like a decent human being! Yay!**

**hmm: you are one of the many people to be confused by the lack of logic in my stories, don't worry, if you bang your head on a wall for long enough, you'll forget all those pesky thoughts and achieve a higher plane of existence, known to all as Cloudcuckooland, the realm of eternal random. In an actual answer, why and how they attacked CHB is part of the tiny wisps of surviving plot, as hard as I try to kill it, it just keeps coming back! I will also address how Voldie isn't a grease stain on the Malfoy Manor floor yet...at a later date, of course.**

**cool: thanks for one of the ideas behind this chapter! As a reward, I am giving you the last surviving Monster Book of Monsters: Volume Two!...actually that might be a punishment...sorry! Don't die! I love my reviewers!**

**Pathea: soon everyone will say omgs! They will all join us *evil laughter*. Their powers being way stronger in the wizarding world is the main idea for the next few chapters. And I update whenever the inspiration gang attacks me. And I have no idea what book you're talking about, of course, I'm generally a forgetful person...I've forgotten to wear pants when I go shopping and stuff several times...and now the whole internet will know that for eternity...way to go, me!**

**Winterlover6: THANK YOU!**

**Benevolent Dreamer: ooh! So many evil ideas to choose from! Thank you! I'll definitely use some of these in the near future! *evil laugh* glad you like the story so far!**

**aviendhaphiragon: yes, yes she is. One of my writing goals is to see how many 'oh -' scenarios I can get the characters into by the ed of the chapter!**

**ice888cream: how's a relatively sorta late update instead?**

**That was fun, we should do this more often, I feel like we bonded... All reviewers get magical cupcakes and my eternal gratitude!**

**—XOXO your friendly neighborhood kumquat**


	6. Flying Thalias

**I don't own anything I use in this chapter!**

_Thalia's POV_

She took another big bite of her triple fudge sundae. As far as she was concerned, everyone else had drawn the short straw, because here she was eating delicious ice cream while everyone else was out shopping or something tedious like that.

She watched Nico sulk on the angst side of the table while half-listening to Tonks tell her about the time she apparated into the middle of a muggle drug-deal.

"And he told me, 'I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse', so I turned them all into rabbits and gave them to the local animal shelter! Are you listening?"

"Sorry, it's just," she trailed off, unsure if how much she could say without being murdered by an army of undead, "I think he's still upset about _it_."

"It?"

Tonks looked trustworthy, and like she genuinely cared about their well-being, which was rare, especially among strangers. "I accidentally walked in on him and his secret boyfriend." She whispered, trailing off and giving her confidant a significant look.

Tonks nodded wisely, "is he the type to hold a grudge?"

Thalia scoffed, "you have no idea."

Tonks pondered that while Thalia took another few bites of her sundae.

"Have you tried talking to him about it?"

"Yes, he threatened to summon an army of skeletons to drag me to the deepest depths of hell by my toe nails."

"Wow, talk about overkill. Have you tried getting his secret boyfriend to talk to him about it?"

"That is quite the devious plan."

"Why thank you, believe it or not, I'm actually a Hufflepuff."

"Really?" Thalia said because that seemed like the answer Tonks was expecting, not because she had the slightest inkling what a Hufflepuff was.

"Yup, saying my aunt was displeased would be the understatement of the century."

Thalia's reply was stopped dead in its tracks by a rumbling coming for the ground. "Earthquake?"

"In London? More likely someone's tried breaking into gringotts and managed to anger a dragon."

"You have dragons in—oh my gods!" She pointed at the sky where a pillar of gold could easily be seen.

"That's not two blocks away! Get under cover!" Tonks shouted to anyone who could hear her.

Thalia was going to ask why when gold and silver coins started raining down. A giant iron apple crushed their table, sundaes and all.

Daedalus Diggle squeaked in surprise and started running in panicked circles.

Nico fell backwards in his chair and several skeletons jumped out of the ground to help him up.

Tonks stared at the skeletons in understandable surprise. She was so distracted, she didn't see the silver horse statue flying at her.

"Look out!" Thalia shouted. She threw her hand forward, intending to slow the statue with a gust of air and give Tonks time to move out of the way. Instead a tornado shot from her fingertips and sent both Tonks and the horse flying away.

Daedalus Diggle screamed, Thalia assumed it was because of her brand new tornado shooting power, so she lifted her hand more, to pretend to fix her hair, and tried not the look too guilty.

Nico started shouting, "throw it away! Throw it away!" Which had nothing to do with her. Confused she turned to see Nico and Daedalus Diggle playing tug-of-war with the later's wand which was spouting water at fire hydrant speeds.

Both were so consumed in their struggle that they didn't notice the gradual rise of the water level around them. In a few seconds, the entire street was under almost a foot of water, then two, then three. The whole of Diagon Alley was flooding!

"Stop it! Stop fighting!" She shouted at them, waving her arms.

Nico paused long enough to look up at her. His eyes went wide and he froze in his struggle for the hose/wand. "What are you doing up there?" He shouted over the wind. That's weird, it wasn't windy a few seconds ago.

"What do you mean? You're the one who's..." She trailed off and looked around; she was a good ten feet above the roof of the the ice cream shop, standing on top of a funnel of air. "Oh my gods...oh my gods..." She muttered, feeling the panic rise in her chest.

She started waving her arms, looking for anything to grab onto. But tornadoes shot out anywhere she gestured. She made the mistake of waving in the direction of her friends in the ground and sent Daedalus Diggle flying. Nico was saved by his skeletons, who had knotted themselves together in a kind of raft and were holding onto him fiercely.

In a last ditch-effort to get down, she tried to jump off the tornado holding her up. This resulted in it shooting her into open air.

Her last thought before she crashed into a brick wall was, _I really hope this doesn't kill me, I would hate for my tombstone to say:_

_Thalia Grace_

_Eternally 15_

_Loving sister and loyal friend_

_She died trying to be a Tasmanian Devil_

Next thing she knew, she was lying on a dusty wooden floor and her whole body ached. She pulled herself into a sitting position while her entire body protested that it really did prefer staying very still on the comfortable floor.

She ate a square of ambrosia and looked around. Thin, long boxes lined the walls and occupied perilous stacks on the majority of free space on every horizontal surface, the desk and chairs included.

She started to stand up just as that idiot known as Percy Jackson fell through the hole in the wall that was shaped suspiciously like her.

Se snorted in laughter, "ten out of ten on the landing, fish face. That's some Olympic grade material."

"Like you did any better. I thought stuff like that only happened in cartoons."

She grinned, "I got mad skills, Jackson, mad skills."

"Where are the people you were with? Uh... Tonks and...that guy."

Excellent question, where did they fly off too? I hope wizards aren't easily breakable...

"I was a bit more concerned for myself at the moment, sorry."

"Well well well, Mr Jackson and Ms Grace, I never imagined I'd be seeing you here."

She spun around to see an old man who had somehow walked into the room without alerting any of her hunter senses, which was no small feat.

"Who are you?" She asked with a little more hostility than intended. In the corner of her eyes, she saw Percy's hand dart to his back pocket where he kept riptide.

"I'm Olivander, maker of fine wands for fine witches and wizards." He explained, still examining them unblinkingly, it was more than a little disturbing. "I suppose you'll be wanting wands?"

He pulled a tape measurer out of his pocket and started measuring Percy: his fingers, his knees, his hair. He left the tape measurer to keep measuring and started shuffling through the boxes.

"Ah, beech, unicorn heart string, twelves inches, springy." He pulled a wand out of a dusty box and handed it to Percy, motioning for the tape measurer to stop. "Well," he said impatiently as the tape measurer fell lifeless to the ground, "give a whirl."

Percy waved the wand half-heartedly.

There was a bright blue explosion and a deafening crack as the wand shattered.

**Reviewers get sundaes! I actually have to run somewhere, so until next time!  
>—XOXO your friendly neighborhood kumquat<strong>


End file.
